I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
