he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
so much tequila, so little girl.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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