I am puke
Michael Bay diarrhea
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize