a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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