they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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