some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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