Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm always down for nudity.
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