I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
