4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
