who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
