Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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