Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize