So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
