Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
