If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
