He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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