I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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