You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
