your parents love me but you hate me
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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