I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
