..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
