ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
