their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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