I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
