her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
