Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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