awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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