Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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