Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
