I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
