From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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