I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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