How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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