I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
