im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
