My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
