Little spoons don't ask big questions
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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