I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
