Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Sorry my hands just texted you
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize