Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
