Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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