Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
