ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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