Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
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