we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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