Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
