I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Let's get the cat blown out
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
