Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
