ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Randomize
