I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
