its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
