I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
