You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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