I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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