I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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