But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you never un-have a 4some
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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