I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We left the knife in your bed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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