Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
