oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
