Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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